DRM - This is getting ridiculous!!!

I've officially been affected by "Digital Rights Management"...the "Man" is coming down on me, and I don't like it one bit. Now, the "Man" is saying that you can't post guitar tabs online. For those that don't know what a "guitar tab" is, here goes: you listen to music, guess what chords and notes are played, write it all down, and post it online. I've used this site for years, and I loved it...it was a major contributor to me learning how to play (bad) guitar. Too bad...I guess it's time to retire to my room, replay the first 5 notes to Stairway, and wait for my RFID chip implant.

Working from Home: Pro or Con?

Well, it's been a while since I last posted. What can I say? When you work in "The Office of Solitude", you don't really have much to banter about. With that said, here's a somewhat related thread that I ran into. I agree with some of what these people are saying, but at the end of the day, the postives of working from home FAR outweigh the negatives. Hmmm, let's see, according to this forum, the negative are as follows:

SLEEP LATE
WORK LESS
NO PEOPLE TO TALK TO
NO OFFICE TO GO TO

Wait...these are negatives??!?!?? Take it from someone who's worked both angles...nothing is better than working at home. If you have NO willpower what-so-ever when it comes to time management (similiar to how I have no willpower when it comes caramel-covered popcorn w/ cashews), then you probably shouldn't work from home. However, if you have better-than-average time management skills and you can make your deadlines, then this is a no-brainer. I haven't had to sit around the watercooler in almost 5 years...and I don't miss a second of it (the gossipy BS, that it). Sure, I miss going out for a few beers after work and the impromptu hallway meetings where many good ideas are conceived...but, I certainly enjoy working out, not commuting, and saving gas money SO much more. The gas money alone is worth my sanity:

25 miles (to work) x 2 (both ways) = 50 miles per day
Estimated Car consumption = 20 miles per gallon (on a good day, probably more like 16-18)
50 miles/day * 1 gallon/20 miles = 2.5 gallons per day
2.5 gallons/day * $2.10/gallon = $5.25 per day
$5.25 * 245 day (subtracting 3 weeks vacation) = $1286.25/year

OR

Average monthly savings of ~ $107.18, which compounded monthly at 5% over 30 years, totals $89,209.80!!! Just for S&G's, 10% totals $242,279.10!!!!

So yeah, after 30 years, I might not have a horde of work compadres, but I can certainly make a few friends with a big ole' party, right? Now, after all that, ask me if I'm actually saving my gas money :)

BTW: Shout out, Chappy!

Wiffleball

Open challenge: anytime Squirrelly...anytime. We're waiting.

My White Whale

We were discussing take-out food preferences this weekend, and the topic of "the best pizza" came up. Out of 10 pizzas from our local shop (10 separate orders), on the average we usually end up receiving 8 mediocre pizzas, 1 soggy POS, and 1 REALLY good pizza (thin crust, cheese slighty browned, perfect texture, etc, etc). My wife would rather go to Betucci's, where the pizza is normally pretty good, but never great. Whereas I'm willing to suffer through all the bad pizza for that one really good pizza. I will note that beer and pizza are 2 foods that I'm willing to concede a wide margin of error to...you can't really screw it up so badly that I won't eat or drink it. I can remember the worst pizza that I ever tasted, and I think I had 3-4 slices. I'm a fighter, baby...a pizza pugilist.

Don't go head-buttin' that umpire, again!

I once worked with a guy who believed that dinosaurs never existed...and "No", his name was not "Carl Everett". He's a "Fundamentalist Christian", and he believes in the literal interpretation of the Bible. We discussed our religious views over beers one evening, and he tried to sell me on the theory that "dinosaur bones were/are planted by Pro-Evolutionist Scientists & the innaccuracies associated with Carbon-Dating". I'm not going to go into the details of our conversation (or Creationism, Intellectual Design, or Evolution) but I left the restaurant thinking "WTF??!??!?" How could someone as intellectual and personable and likeable believe in something so out of whack from my own beliefs? I guess I was surprised at my own lack of worldliness....that I'm living in my own little reality where everything is what it is: blue is blue, black is black, a duck is a duck. It never even registered on my radar that there could possibly be people in the world that believe in Noah's Ark, or Adam and Eve, or David and Goliath, or the Energizer Bunny, or the Grinch (these are Bible stories, right? Ok, so my agnostic side shows through a bit). These were always parables to me...not based on facts, but something from whichI could possibly learn a lesson from. That's it...that's all. Nothing earth-shattering in this entry....just thought I'd let you know that there are people out there who believe in some shit that might be totally different from your shit, and you'll be like "Holy Shit!!".

Belly of the Beast.

I'm in NY tonight...during a Red Sox/Yankees game.....I'm in enemy territory here, folks. I'll be infiltrating a bar, and performing some recon (eating, drinking, cheering). GO SOX!!!!

Finally!! My email accounts in one window!

Ok, so I have 4 email accounts: work, Hotmail, Yahoo, and Gmail. Yes, I use them all:

• Work Outlook: I use this account for work-related emails (duh). I never use this account for personal use (and I suggest you do the same with yours...big brother is always watching)
• Hotmail: I use this account for registration on low-risk sites (by low-risk, I'm referring to the risk of getting any spam.....phone company, mobile carrier, etc, etc...basically, for any company that I might actually want an occasional spam from)
• Yahoo: I use this account for high-risk registration (beta sites, coupons, etc, etc...anything that I know I'll get spammed on)
• Gmail: Personal emails between known recipients.

It's taken a while for me to devise a way to access all of these accounts from one page, but here goes:

Pageflakes + BittyBrowser = one stop shopping for all my email accounts!! I used the following URLS for each of the accounts:

Hotmail: http://mobile.msn.com/hm/folder.aspx

Gmail: http://m.gmail.com For some reason, this URL does not work with IE, but DOES play nicely with Firefox (which I use on my personal machine). Because I use IE on my work laptop, I've also included the Gmail Flake that's available with PageFlakes. The screen shot above uses the plain HTML version of Gmail (login to Gmail, switch it over to the basic HTML view, and use that URL), which I don't use anymore.

Yahoo: http://wap.oa.yahoo.com/?dp=mail

Outlook: Open your outlook in a browser. Then determine the URL for the mail frame (easily done with Forefox). Obviously, this URL will be different for every corporation.

Have fun!

"That's a lot of Cereal!!!"

Do you know how many bowls of your cereal it would take to equal one bowl of "Super Colon Blow"?? Neither do I, but I do have a better sense now that I've started a cleansing diet. After 31 years of desecrating my body, I decided last week that I would do something to flush out the "ole' system". It's been something that I've meant to do for quite awhile, but have never had time/will power to do. Well, about 2 week ago, I was talking to my chiropractor... (SCHREECH!!!!)

No, I'm not one of those tree hugging, all natural, holisitic healing, hippie-types. I have back problems, OK? Doctors couldn't help me, but a chiropractor did. And now I'm telling you about my cleansing diet and you're probably thinking "Oh my...he's one of those weirdos, all right". Nope...just willing to try new things.


...and he told me about this diet and that he felt great after doing it. So investigate the diet, and decided to give it a try. No, the diet does not involve the use of multiple enemas, you sick bastard!! It's basically a 10-day, all liquid diet called the "Master Cleanser". I drink 6-8 glasses of a specially concocted lemonade (freshly squeezed lemon juice, grade B syrup, pinch of cayenne pepper), with a morning quart of salt water (1 quart water, 2 teaspoons seasalt). The lemonade keeps me going all day, and the salt water "flushes me out" every morning.

I'm on day 3 right now, and I feel pretty darn good. I haven't been hungry because the lemonade actually does the trick. Although, T did come home last night and cooked kielbasa and pierogies....and I must admit, there was a moment of weakness when I ALMOST broke (I stared at the pan for what seemed like an eternity...Oh kielbasa!!...Sausage of Kings...and your plump little potato pawns...Why do you tempt me so??). I extricated myself from the kitchen, and drank a little more lemonade. This a truly a test of will power, and I think I can make it.

BTW: I've lost 7 pounds in 2 days.

Chicago update

Drinking....ate nachos...played pool, lost...beat Harding at darts one game...still going. Haven't really watched any Bball...

Party time

Let the debauchary begin...Chicago style!!

Meathead!

I'm in Philly right now, waiting for my flight to board...and guess who just walked by? Rob Reiner. Yes, I'm in the presence of Meathead, people!! He looks much older in person...but it was definately him, cause' the guy next to me said " Yup...that's Rob Reiner". That means that my Hollywood sighting list has a total of 2 people now: RR and Gene Shalot. Sad...so sad.

I'm innocent!!

It wasn't me!! I swear!! I have an alibi!


"Thieves make off with $26,000 of beer

February 24, 2006

WEST BEND, Wis. --Authorities are hoping to break up what must be quite the party after beer thieves made off with almost $26,000 worth of suds from a delivery truck.

A semi trailer loaded with cans and bottles of Miller beer was stolen from a trucking company in Richfield, according to a Washington County Sheriff's Department report. The trailer was found four days later -- sans beer -- at an Oak Creek trucking firm.

The trailer had been dropped off at the Millis Transfer Co. sometime on Feb. 17 for delivery to a beer distributor in Menomonie, authorities said. Later that night, the trailer was discovered missing.

Company officials didn't report the loss immediately because they thought a driver must have picked up the wrong load.

The sheriff's department is investigating with Oak Creek authorities and Miller officials, said Sheriff's Capt. Dale Schmidt.

The missing product, valued at $25,788, included:

-- 384 24-packs of Miller Genuine Draft cans

-- 560 18-packs of MGD 12-ounce bottles

-- 980 18-packs of MGD 12-ounce cans

-- 40 24-packs of Miller Light 16-ounce plastic bottles"

American Idol: More than 1 set of twins

Yes, I watch AI...what can I say, it's hilarious. By now, I'm sure a lot of AI fans have heard that Becky and Jessie O'Donahue posed for Maxim a few years back...and they looked pretty damn hot doing it. In any case, these aren't the twins that I'm referring to. It required intense research, and futher scrutiny from a team of genetic scientists, but I believe that I've uncovered 2 other sets of identical twins on American Idol:

Elliott Yamin or Marty Feldman?

Bobby Bennett or Juan Candy?

Ok, the Marty Feldman comparison might be a stretch, but I swear, if you watch Bobby Bennett sing, it's almost like watching a crooning version of John Candy's Latino ghost. T and I were in hysterics watching him last night. I'm not positive, but I think I heard him order "tres Orange Whips" right before one of the last commercial breaks.

On the road again.

Leaving north Carolina right now. Whoop dee doo

Simpson's did it!

I saw an episode eerily similar to this on the Simpson's once. Hilarity ensued:

Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

Alright Aussies...you know what to do...RELEASE THE GORILLAS (or needle snakes, THEN GORILLAS)!!!!!

Free HBO!

Funny Quote

Campman had a hilarious quote this afternoon while we were emailing about this little gem (you gotta try to get past level 3 to get the joke):

http://www.winterrowd.com/maze.swf

"Oh yeah, I'm sitting close to the screen thinking, oh I got this bitch...I'm working the scroll button on my mouse to cheat up on the shoot...and BAM out comes the poop"

Guess what I'm eating!!!

(cue cheesy 70's game show music)

Announcer: Clean out your ears and index your pantry; it's America newest game show!!

(Audience Shouts): GUESS WHAT I'M EATING!!!

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, let's put our hands together for everybody's favorite host to "Guess What I'm Eating"......The Hag!!!!

The Hag: Welcome back to America's favorite game show, Guess What I'm Eating. I'm your host, The Hag, and we've got a great show for you today. The rules are simple to Guess What I'm Eating: Guess what I'm eating. Is everybody ready? Great...let's begin:

Guess what I'm eating!!

My Olympic Overview

Bob beat me to the punch on his Olympic observations, but here are a few of my own:

1) Why does figure skating have to be so damn feminine?? It could really be a super-kickass sport if they could integrate more KungFu/Stipper-pole maneuvers into it (the girls are half naked anyway...stop teasing us). I was watching some of the mixed pairs last night, and I said to T, "Why does every outfit have to look like it was borrowed from the NutCracker?". If I was a male figureskater (which I don't see happening in the near future), I would demand that my outfit be one of the following:

• Hulk Hogan, full-on 80's regalia.
  
• Frank Drebin, Police Squad (with the requisite Japanese fighting fish attached to my nose)
• Carl Spackler, licence to kill gophers.
  
• A feces-throwing monkey. (it doesn't have to be REAL feces.......all of the time)
  
• A stereotypical Italian chef, complete with a big poofy hat, a dirty mustache, and one of those gigantic pizza-oven shovels (they're in Italy, right?).

2) I make a lot of veiled (and not so veiled) sexual references whenever I watch figure skating. T has to be sick of the Olympics by now:

• "He's gonna pork her, Dad"
  
• "You are now carrying my child"
  
• "Oh, they're totally 69'ing"
  
• "Uh, Dude...your balls are showing"
  
• "Whoa...he just gave her the Shocker!!"
• "I think she just farted"
  
• "Where's his girlfriend or wife to congratulate him?" (sarcastically, whenever a male skater comes off the ice)
  

3) I've said "US athletes are SO smarmy" at least 50 times thus far. Why? Because it's true, and because I like saying "smarmy" more than "unctuous" (both are fun words). Honestly, I can't stand the smugness of our contenders...to quote from my childhood, "I want to wipe that look right off of their faces".

4) I'm embarrassed to look at Apollo Ohno's face...he's got a landing strip under his chin.

5) I LOVE it when people fall down or crash...if it didn't happen, I wouldn't watch the Winter Olympics at all (I don't watch the Summer Olympics...and that's probably why). I actually root for them to fall...is that wrong??

6) Bob Costas wears a toupee, right? No one's hairline goes back THAT far. I can see the headline now: "Costas straps wig to luge; takes silver medal".

7) Nothing is more pleasing than when a French athlete performs poorly (Actually, French-Canadian failures are cool, too). Aside from the French, does anyone actually root for these guys? Nuf' sed.

8) "...And the Ginger Medal has just been awarded to Shaun White!" Make the evil clown go away, Mommy (Is that Pauly Shore in the background?? I think it is....buuuuudddy!).

Ronald McDevil

After partaking of a few libations at The Tap on a recent evening, T, Bomber, and I decided to grab a quick late-night snack...this incident will forever be referred to as "The McDonald's Affair". Here is what I ordered for myself:

1 1/4 Pounder with Cheese: 510 calories
1 Large Fry: 520 calories
1 10 piece nugget: 420 calories

Oh, and here is what I ordered, AND ate because Bomber passed out on the couch (I couldn't let it go cold, right??):

1 Large Fry: 520 calories
1 6 piece nugget: 250 calories

Within the span of 10 minutes, I consumed a total of 2220 calories!!!! In retrospect, this was a very unhealthy thing to do, yes? But HOT DAMN, was it tasty!! The fries were all "Yo man...we're hot and salty...you can't say no!!". And the nuggets were all "Mmmm....we're good". And they weren't lying...

The next time I'm hungry after drinking a few brewskies, it's all salad and rice cakes baby. Salad and rice cakes.