I'm in TX...surrounded!

I don't know when it happened...but I'm officially a politics geek. And it's never been more apparent than during my current stay in Texas. At each meal with my coworkers, I find myself biting my tongue during many conversations because of their clear right-wing leanings. Am I surprised? NO...I AM IN TEXAS. What surprises me is my own awareness of the current political environment and the issues. If you had asked me 4 years ago about politics, I would've passed on the convo, babe. But now, I feel so strongly about the issues...what's happening to me? Did I also mention that I yelled at the neighbors' kid a few weeks back for hitting a car with a golf ball? Am I officially an old man, now?

Btw: I had the pleasure of spending the past few days with 2 gentlemen from China, and wow, what a perspective! 1.3 million people in Beijing!!!! We did discuss US politics for a few minutes, and the question that stick with me was "why is the US so aggressive?". I didn't ask him the same question about China...but I thought it was interesting that this was his perception...not that I totally disagree. Anyway....in the airport, bored, tired, frustrated (flight delayed), thumbs tired. I need a new cellphone with a full keyboard and a camera.

Bbtw: I saw the strangest thing yesterday...we were driving back from lunch, and a woman I work with said "do you guys see what I see?" (which was funny, because it sounded like she couldn't believe her eyes). There, riding down the residential neighborhood street, was a bearded older gentlemen riding a unicycle....JUGGLING!!! No circus. No elephants. No parade. Just him...juggling. At which point I said "if I had a dollar for everytime I saw that", maintaining a jovial upbeat appearance....whilst actually thinking "THAT WAS F'ING EERIE!!!". Nightmares, I tells ya...nightmares. Highly unlikely this guy's getting laid, though, right?

WTF?? My format!!!

Sorry about the formatting...looks like combo of using Google Docs and Blogger screwed up my overall layout. I'll re-work it in the near future, but until then, you'll have to deal.

Update: FIXED

There's TWO "Gaps" on this website: Can you find them?

Have you ever wanted to grab someone by their collar, and throttle them? Have you ever gotten off the phone with a co-worker, and screamed from the top of your lungs "FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!"??? Have you ever donned the "1000-mile stare" as you leave a business meeting, impossible to comprehend the incompetence surrounding you? I've worked at technology companies for the last 8 years; this is my life...welcome to flavor-country, friends. Over this period, I've witnessed (or been privy to) an encyclopedic volume of blunders the likes of which no man should have to endure. However, faithful reader (you would need to be faithful to read this...I've been MIA for awhile here) there are things that make all of this worth-while. No, these are not highlights that I recite for you; no, no...these are the funny low-lights that will stick with me forever. Anyone can recite sales victories; it's the warts and moles that legends make. Here's my Top 8 (I'll add 2 more if I can think of them):

8) A Co-worker installing central air-conditioning in his home, and getting reimbursed for it, because a Windows server was making his basement too hot.
7) A client describing his personal, home-based, TERABYTE of porn.
6) Using the phrase "like a red-headed stepchild" to a red-headed co-worker...before noticing said employee had a "red head"....(Ok, I admit, this one was me...I apologized immediately, and she laughed it off)
5) A co-worker consistently using the word "EX-pecially" in front of clients. Yes...all the time.
4) A drunk UK-based co-worker performing a strip tease in front of a company event.
3) A co-worker chewing tobacco during a client meeting (AND spitting in the cup)...classic internet bubble story.
2) Discovery of shared-drive nude photos of a co-worker (placed there by said co-worker for posting to various websites).
1) A VP-maintained, publically accessible porn server, and the accompanying email from concerned parents.

Andy

This is our dog Andy. His best qualities (not in order):

1) He sits, stays, heels, etc on command
3) He doesn't do his "business" in our house OR in our yard (he goes about behind the back fence)
4) He says "I love you" on command
5) He's very gentle with my daughter
6) He farts whenever he stretches (it's hilarious)
7) He watches TV (he loves Animal Planet)
8) He's a very handsome dog (excellent markings, for a pound dog)
9) He loves to play with anyone (he's loveable with everyone, but especially so with my family)
10) He was FREE (adoption dog)

His worst qualities (not in order, and they're not really that bad)

1) He get up VERY early (5am...he wants his food)
2) He sheds like a maniac
3) He's very big (he weighs 113lbs...not really a negative, in my eyes, but some people are intimidated by him)
4) He loves sleeping with us in our bed...not good, no. Try kicking a 113lb dog out of bed (actually, he does so on command)
5) He farts whenever he stretches (His farts STINK)
6) He can be a bit of a food-whore (He never takes food from the table, but he'll watch for your floor droppings like hawk)

All in all, his best and worst qualities make Andy who he is, and we love him for all his idiosyncracies. Did I mention he was FREE? If you want a dog, think about adopting (we saved Andy from a kill-shelter via an adoption agency).