Friday, February 03, 2006


Bombs is WAY drunk. HTE bought him another beer, and he's teetering.

No pussy weekend!!

I will not be a pussy when I visit chi in march. I will stay up late, not take naps...this I promise you, faithful reader!!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Bob's bobs on knobs

My sister-in-law (who from this day forward will be know as Salty N' Sweet...or SnS) purchased me a fantastic Carlton Fisk Red Sox jersey for Christmas at Bob's. Great gift...truly great, except that it was one size too big (XXL??? Hello? I'm big, but not THAT big!). Not a big deal, right?...just make the ole' switch-a-roo. Well, Bob's doesn't make this easy. I've been there 3 times in the past month, and all they ever have is a Dennis Eckersley, Large. Ok, see...I like Ek, right? Great pitcher in his time, but do I want an Ek shirt over a Fisk shirt?? Umm, no...I don't. And can I squish myself into a L?? Sadly, no...I'm a straight-up XL man....I HAVE BIG SHOULDERS, OK??!?

It's an $80 dollar shirt, and it was purchased with a 25% coupon, so the paid price was somewhere near $59...great gift considering that she got me a few other things as well (I was totally psyched). So I thought, "Well, how bout' this...I'll return it with no receipt, get the full 100% sales price of $80 on store credit, and wait until they get some XL's". Guess what...when you don't have a receipt, they'll only give you the lowest recent sales price, which they said was $55. Ok, see this is bullshit. These shirts have NEVER been on sale for $55 dollars since before Christmas, and I know...I've been in there every week since then. In fact, the Large Ek is sitting on the rack with an $80 price tag on it!!!! I'm not a cheap bastard, ok...I like to spend money...can't stop, for that matter...but it's the principle of the thing. What if SnS purchased the shirt for the full price of $80, lost the receipt, and then had to return it because it was too small? She only gets $55 dollars back? And Bob's keeps the $25 as a "Nice Job for Screwing the Customer" award?? I'm not trying to get $25 for free here (I've tried that), all I want is an XL Fisk...but they never have it in stock at the store near me, and if I return it, I'll never be able to get the jersey again without paying a $25 penalty. Not fair, Bob...not fair.

Solution time: my brother picks me up a Fisk XL jersey at a Bob's near his house, I give him the 80 bucks, and I take the XXL back to the Bob's near me to return with the $80 receipt. Nothing wrong here...return the same shirt, only a size bigger, for the price paid, and I keep the XL. This would've work, if HTE hadn't paid for the XL with his Visa. Well shit on a duck!! Bob's only refunds a store credit IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE ORIGINAL VISA CARD!! Oh Bob, you sly bastard!! I will return this shirt, you shifty, faceless wretch. Oh sure, I might waste a full tank of gas and grow a few more grey hairs....but it will be done. Do you hear me, Bob? I'm comin'....and I'm bringing the XXL Fisk and Hell with me!!!! Wolverines!!!!

I will never shop at Bob's...EVER. Maybe these are normal tactics, but they have lost me as a customer forever. Yes, that's right...I'll be purchasing my "Chinos", slacks, and "Members Only" jackets elsewhere from now on, thank you very much!!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Workout Update

I worked out (i.e. lifted weights) 10 times in January, equaling an average of 2.5 times a week. If I can maintain this rate for the entire year, I'll have worked out ~120 times...more than double the total for last year. Which means that I can eat twice as much, right??

I've also been running and hitting the heavy bag on off days, which I'm not counting. Perhaps I should, no?

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I'm telling ya' baby, that's not mine.

It was early this morning, and I was in the process of putting on my daughter's winter coat. As a T.V. commercial droned on in the background...something I heard made me look up. "Just remove the ring, and you're ready for pleasure". What the?? Is that what I think it is?? It looks like a bong with an extension cord?!? No...that's not a advertisement for a bong....THAT'S AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR A PENIS PUMP!!! Yes, they're advertising these bad-boys on T.V. now. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I yelled to my wife.."T, c'mere! You gotta see this". Low and behold, there on the screen, was an honest to goodness p-pump. My daughter is only 1.75 years old, so she had no idea what we were talking about, but holy crap! this where the future of T.V. is headed?? I'm not one for censorship, but can't we save the pump commercials for the soap opera hour?

Long story short: My new penis pump will be here in 4-6 weeks ;)

Adopt or Buy?

I got into a heated discussion with my brother and sister-in-law on Sunday regarding pure-bred dogs. We were talking about buying dogs, and my thought is that I'd NEVER buy a dog, because there are thousands of abandoned dogs in MA that need a good home. It may take some time to find one that fits your particular requirements, but they are out there. I can see how someone would want a particular dog because of it's breed, size, intelligence, etc...but I don't think that these are requirements that can't be met with an adopted dog. Which leads me to our argument: I believe that money is the major motivation for all dog breeders. HTE&H believe that the majority of breeders do it because "they love the breed/dogs". Their arguments were that:

1) MOST pure-bred breeders are honest about the dogs, and want you to be a responsible dog owner.

2) Dog breeders are selective about who they sell their dogs to, thus self-limiting their market, consequently limiting their income (as opposed to "Puppy Mills", who'll sell to anyone).

3) Dog breeding is not a lucrative business. If a specific breed can only make 4 puppies per year, then depending on breed, they can get somewhere between 2-8k oer year (rough estimate)

4) Money is the not the driving factor for pure-bred breeders.: the love of the dog is the primary motivation.

I obviously agree with #1; most breeders probably wouldn't want to hand their dogs off to a guy wielding a burlap sack and shovel, OK? But it's a seller market!! The abundance of buyers can create the illusion that the breeder is being caring and responsible, but #2 is really just a function of the marketplace. They can afford to be selective because they know that they can always sell their product to responsible, happy customers, and consequently prolong their breeding career by building a good reputation. How many professional breeder have you met that have an overstock of last year's (and the year before's) puppies?? Probably not too many (they can always "get rid" of their merchandise, right). Oh, and since when is 2-8k a year NOT a lucrative little side business? Compound that money over a 20 year period, and you've got yourself a nice little 401k, no?

Which bring us to #4, the point of this post: Is money the driving factor, or is it purely a golden lining to their desire to proliferate a specific breed? I'd agree that most breeders love their breed, but the ability to make money is still truly the deciding factor. Show me that there's a large percentage of dog breeders who love their dogs AND lose money and I'll admit that I'm wrong. Don't misunderstand me, there are probably breeders that do lose money, but all I'm saying is that they are a very small percentage of the overall population. If I wanted to breed Andy (my adopted mutt), I'd be sure to make sure that endeavor wouldn't send me straight to the poor house before doing is always the driving variable in a business-related equation. I digress...We don't have stats and percentages, so nothing is's all hearsay. If you believe that money is not the driving factor behind dog breeding, then I suggest that you get your rose-colored prescription lenses changed. If they don't make money, they don't breed dogs (unless they're extremely poor business-people). EOS.