Friday, January 25, 2008

Song#2: Rock Rocket

Cheesy 80's music...we all loved it at the time. Here's my best whack at it:

Rock Rocket
Steel girders headin' for the sky.
Metal to Metal, sparks are ready fly.
Pressure dropping, better hold on tight...
There's only one thing gonna make things right

Grab on tight, it's your turn to climb.
Let the music take you, this one last time.
As the light fade outs and the darkness falls
There's only one thing that can heed your calls!

Rock Rocket: Scream it out loud!
Rock Rocket: Ridin' the crowd!
Rock Rocket: We're doin' the deed!
Rock Rocket: Always got what you need!

Double or nothing, all bets are on
The tables are turned, but your luck is gone
Holdin' the deuces while the aces are wild
Bettin' it all cause' Lady Luck just smiled.

We're Climbin'.
We're Cruisin'.
Getting Higher....with YOU!!!

Rock Rocket: Scream it out loud!
Rock Rocket: Ridin' the crowd!
Rock Rocket: We're doin' the deed!
Rock Rocket: Always got what you need!'

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

What is this blog, anyway? Song #1 : My Guitar Screams

I ask myself that question every time that I post. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure. Is this blog for my benefit, or for yours, kind Reader? With that said, I'm going to take a decidedly different turn over the next few weeks, and I hope that you can at least appreciate the effort that I'm going to put in. Sure, I'll still take the time to make a funny here and there, but for the next few weeks, I'm going to try and post a new, Hagbag-original song every single day (weekend not included). I might not be Carol King, and the quality of the lyrics may be low-end at best, but I'm thinking that it might at least get my creative juices pumping. So bear with me (or not). A lot of these songs will be blues-based (because it's the lyrical form that I struggle with the least), but I won't stay exclusively in that realm.

And with that, here's #1. It's about my guitar hating me (or about my lackluster guitar decide):

My Guitar Screams
I try to do the right the thing, but alway wind up astray.
Yes, I tried to hit the E chord, but I wound up on A.
Well, my guitar screams "kill me" every time that I play.

"Please mister, please...don't you take me for a ride."
she says, "Please mister please, don't you take me for a ride.
You're the only one who ever made me think of suicide."

I treat you like a goddess,
I've wrote you many songs,
I've tried to make you love me; it seems we'll never get along.

She says "Oh baby, you know that I love you, but your hands they do betray."
Well, my guitar will always scream "kill me" every time that I play.

I have no ego, so fire away with the feedback!! Thanks!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Golf Outing (in Vegas)

I'm heading out to Vegas for a "golf outing" in April. Here's my list of to-do's:

  1. Party with the "little person" at O'Hara's
  2. Fire an automatic weapon
  3. Drink from a football-shaped beer-dispenser
  4. Make back what I lost last time
  5. Call the asshole craps dealer at Hooter's "Louie Anderson" again.
  6. Eat a 40-ounce steak
  7. Go the entire trip without making a "Thunder Down Under" reference.
  8. Latch onto some inane casino song, and repeat it over and over
  9. NO "Let it Ride"...No, I'm serious this time. Seriously....OK, maybe once.
  10. Get Ball silly-drunk again at Harrah's. It's not his bachelor party, but still hella-funny.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Don't be mad, know I love you. Song # 1/2: Whiskey in Franklin

It's been awhile, and I realize that I've neglected you for way too long. I'm sorry, baby...I swear that HagBag will never do that again. Oh, c'mon baby...don't be that know that I love you, and that I'd never hurt you, right? I wrote a song for you want to hear it? No?!? But baby...I wrote it for you! It goes:

Whiskey in Franklin, tryin' to find my way home.
Yes whiskey in Franklin, tryin' to find my way home.
I've been spending too many days crying, can't spend another night alone.

I've been drinkin' baby, please excuse what I say.
Yes, I've been drinkin' sweetheart, please excuse what I say.
The words always go in one direction when I want them to go the other way.

Well I called my baby once,
I called me baby twice,
I don't remember what I said, I only pray that it was nice.

Well, I had Whiskey in Franklin, now I'm on my way home.
I've spent too many days a'crying, can't spend another night alone.

Are we cool now, Baby? Yeah....that's what I thought. Get over here, sweetheart.