Friday, February 02, 2007

Another new holiday??!? Stay with'll like this one.

So, I've been heading into the city more often for work lately (yes, Da' Bag leaves the ole' home-based work-lair every now and then, OK? Double-hyphenation....sweet), and it's astonishing how clearly rude some people are (Wow...that was some grammar...hyphenation, parentheses, run-on sentence...amazing...I'm still doing it...I can't STOP....just kidding). I'm sitting on the train the other morning, and this overtly-loud galoot would not keep his voice down. I'm minding my own business, getting my ass whooped in Blackjack and this...I'm sorry, I'm going to use it again, because it fit him so perfectly...galoot, is practically shouting his conversation across the state. It would be one thing if the conversation was minutely interesting, but no; it's all "Yeah, so, I was once a chef, and MAN, those guys make good money, and now I'm going to see my sista' and then have lunch over in Southie with an old buddy who I usta' go to school with back in tha' day. Man dose' were the times, but I'll tell ya', if ever had the BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH". If I were half as rude as he was, I'd a'pimped smacked him onto the tracks...but NOooooooooo, the "Man" says that we can't do that, right? So what can we do? Put on our headphones, ignore these idiots, and continue on with life, I guess. But you know what? That will never solve this guy's problem. It IS his problem; after all, he's the one suffering from low-grade Voice Immodulation Syndrome. Should the circle of life continue ad infinitum without letting these people know that they are being rude?? I'm of the opinion that something needs to be done, so here's my solution: I'm officially declaring March 1st "You're Being a Jackass Day" (YBAJD). That's's your yearly, guilt-free, tactless, "Get out of jail free card" for alerting citizens that they've overstepped the bounds of normal decency. If word gets out, I'm sure that we could easily overtake Christmas and Thanksgiving as the most popular holiday. I've done 32 Xmas'es, Thanksgivings, Easters, etc. at this point in my life; it's been done. How many times have I publicly humiliated a stranger when I've REALLY wanted to....ZERO. Well, it's time to look forward to something new. Watch out, Flag Day...I'm coming up on ya'. Oh, and by the way, the only person who receives gifts on YBAJD is it's creator....feel free.

BTW: For you holiday buffs, YBAJD coincides with Iceland's Beer Day. Reykjavik, anyone?