Saturday, November 19, 2005

Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!!!!

The voice mail that I left went something along the lines of "It's just not working out" or "It's not you, it's me". In any case, yes, I quit my job of 36 days yesterday, and I did it over the phone (voice mail first, then a followup call with my boss)!!! I would've done it face-to-face, but my boss was never in the office. I think he was shocked, because he thought that I was actually enjoying my time there. He was ALSO very pissed because I didn't give any notice. Look, I was only there for a TPS reports will not be missed. Anyway, I guess I owe this following list to the people that told me that I should never leave my last company:

Top 10 Things that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs during my 36 day tenure (but didn't, because I wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible):

10) "TURN OFF THAT STUPID 'Heart of Glass' RINGER ON YOUR PHONE, BIATCH!!!" Just because you like Debbie Harry (and actually have her 80's haircut), it doesn't mean that everyone else should have to hear it whenever your cell goes off.

9) "WOULD YOU PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP THE GOD-DAMNED HAMMERING!!!". They were doing construction in the office all day long, and it was extremely loud.

8) "DOES THE HEAT GO ANY HIGHER THAN 40 IN THIS OFFICE?!?!? I'M FREEZING!!!". I'm not normally a cold person, but this place was like a meat locker. And there weren't any "lookers" in the office whose breasts would've made this situation bearable.

7) "YOU'RE THE WORST SALES PERSON I'VE EVER WORKED WITH. RT 1 DODGE IS HIRING, JACKASS!!". I worked with the most annoying, conniving, ineffective sales person...that's all I'm going to say about that.

6) "BUSINESS CASUAL???" I just don't get it...if you're not in front of clients, why can't you wear jeans? Who am I dressing up for?

5) "I'M FLYING OUT TO CALIFORNIA FOR THREE DAYS FOR ONE LOUSY MEET&GREET?? ONE?!???!?" No comment...ok, one comment....this company knows how to waste money.

4) "100 HUNDRED MILLION SHARES OUTSTANDING FOR THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE OF A COMPANY??!?!?" This little detail remained hidden until after my first week. Goodbye options...

3) "HEY, MR. CEO, WHEN YOU WALK BY YOUR EMPLOYEES IN THE HALLWAY, LOOK UP AND SAY "HI"!!!! AT LEAST MAKE AN EFFORT TO LOOK THEM IN THE EYES!!!". I don't think he does this because he knows that a lot of people are going to be screwed when they get laid off in a few months. Guilty, perhaps?

2) "THIS PLACE IS A SAUSAGE FACTORY!!!". Seriously, I heard guys arguing about who was the hottest girl in the company, and the top choice was a 40-year-old mother of two. Second place went to the Russian developer with a mustache.


1) "I QUIT THIS SHITHOLE!! SMELL'YA LATER, SUCKERS!!". I really wish I had the cajones to do this, but I don't, OK? Do you?

Vegas Redux...

I actually found a couple of pictures of Harding when he hit the wall in Vegas...I guess I was either half asleep or shit-faced (we were watching and gambling on football all day long) when I took these photos. Looks like the original picture that I posted was not that far off. The photos are a little grainy (I took them with my Treo), but I think they say a lot about Harding's physical condition at 11pm that night. Note the cockeyed hat, the half-shut eyes......he barely ate any of the communal onion rings, which is VERY odd (I once witnessed him mainline 50 cc's of bacon grease). The decor of the Victorian diner leaves much to be desired. Yes, those are stained glass windows...What are they stained with? I don't want to know.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I always run into people I "sorta" know

Funny thing happened on the way to lunch at the Greek restaurant the other day...I ran into Nick the bartender. Nick used to work at the bar formerly known as Hannah's (f.k.a The Sam McGuire) in lovely downtown Meffah'. I used to resent him somewhat because he could never remember my name (which is still the case), BUT I was wholely impressed that he recognized me. He was picking up his gyro, I was waiting for my lamb kabob, and we recognized each other immediately. He's an assistant vice principal now, which is good for him, but I sorta wish he was still a bartender. He let our tab "ride" on so many occasions, real tears were shed when we found out that he no longer worked at Hannahs. In fact, I'm getting a little weepy just thinking about it...mmmmmm, free drinks.