Bob's bobs on knobs

My sister-in-law (who from this day forward will be know as Salty N' Sweet...or SnS) purchased me a fantastic Carlton Fisk Red Sox jersey for Christmas at Bob's. Great gift...truly great, except that it was one size too big (XXL??? Hello? I'm big, but not THAT big!). Not a big deal, right?...just make the ole' switch-a-roo. Well, Bob's doesn't make this easy. I've been there 3 times in the past month, and all they ever have is a Dennis Eckersley, Large. Ok, see...I like Ek, right? Great pitcher in his time, but do I want an Ek shirt over a Fisk shirt?? Umm, no...I don't. And can I squish myself into a L?? Sadly, no...I'm a straight-up XL man....I HAVE BIG SHOULDERS, OK??!?

It's an $80 dollar shirt, and it was purchased with a 25% coupon, so the paid price was somewhere near $59...great gift considering that she got me a few other things as well (I was totally psyched). So I thought, "Well, how bout' this...I'll return it with no receipt, get the full 100% sales price of $80 on store credit, and wait until they get some XL's". Guess what...when you don't have a receipt, they'll only give you the lowest recent sales price, which they said was $55. Ok, see this is bullshit. These shirts have NEVER been on sale for $55 dollars since before Christmas, and I know...I've been in there every week since then. In fact, the Large Ek is sitting on the rack with an $80 price tag on it!!!! I'm not a cheap bastard, ok...I like to spend money...can't stop, for that matter...but it's the principle of the thing. What if SnS purchased the shirt for the full price of $80, lost the receipt, and then had to return it because it was too small? She only gets $55 dollars back? And Bob's keeps the $25 as a "Nice Job for Screwing the Customer" award?? I'm not trying to get $25 for free here (I've tried that), all I want is an XL Fisk...but they never have it in stock at the store near me, and if I return it, I'll never be able to get the jersey again without paying a $25 penalty. Not fair, Bob...not fair.

Solution time: my brother picks me up a Fisk XL jersey at a Bob's near his house, I give him the 80 bucks, and I take the XXL back to the Bob's near me to return with the $80 receipt. Nothing wrong here...return the same shirt, only a size bigger, for the price paid, and I keep the XL. This would've work, if HTE hadn't paid for the XL with his Visa. Well shit on a duck!! Bob's only refunds a store credit IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE ORIGINAL VISA CARD!! Oh Bob, you sly bastard!! I will return this shirt, you shifty, faceless wretch. Oh sure, I might waste a full tank of gas and grow a few more grey hairs....but it will be done. Do you hear me, Bob? I'm comin'....and I'm bringing the XXL Fisk and Hell with me!!!! Wolverines!!!!

I will never shop at Bob's...EVER. Maybe these are normal tactics, but they have lost me as a customer forever. Yes, that's right...I'll be purchasing my "Chinos", slacks, and "Members Only" jackets elsewhere from now on, thank you very much!!