Things I'd Never Admit at Work

I've worked at technology companies for quite awhile, and if there's one thing that I've learned, it's that image is everything. I truly believe that if you want to be successful in technology, you need to project an image bourne of confidence and professionalism. Consequently, there are certain character traits and personal historical events that need to be surpressed whilst in the workplace in order to maintain said image. You basically want your co-workers to believe that your farts don't stink, OK?

Anyway, there I things that I've done in the past, and things that I love in this world that I would never admit to any of my co-workers. Some of these items are admittedly trivial (yeah, no shit you wouldn't tell anyone that) and some might be questioned as to why they are on the list...I can't explain a lot of the why, I just know myself well enough to admit that I would never mention anything on this list to a co-worker:

1. I love reality TV. I'll take an all-day "Ultimate Fighter" marathon over half an hour of "Sqauwk Box" anyday.
2. I once drank that "left-over" glass on the bar (you know, the one that the bartender uses to drain out the line) for a $20 bet.
3. I love AC/DC. Yes, Angus Young&Brian Johnson can F'in rock, OK? Anyone who thinks differently is no friend of mine. In fact, anyone who thinks differently is my sworn enemy.
4. Back when I was in college, I sold fake backstage passes to a stoner at a concert. It was Phish, and I needed the money...to get stoned.
5. I use www.m-w.com at least 10 times a day. Too many big words floatin' around.
6. I once drank 3/4 of a 1.75 liter of Jim Beam in 45 minutes. Mayhem ensued. Hard alcohol makes me loopy.
7. When I worked from home, I sat in on conference calls.....naked. Shower, then call, then get dressed....it happens.
8. I hate my job, but the money is good. Friggin' golden handcuffs.
9. I want to quit technology altogether, and start a bar/wing/breakfast joint. Who wouldn't?
10. I've been in a a few fist fights in my day...once with a co-worker. It's not that I've actually started a lot of fights, it's just that I'm always with the guy that starts them.
11. I have an engineering degree, but I am probably the absolute worst at doing math in my head. I'm calculator dependant.
12. I've read all the Harry Potter books. Yeah, that's right, punk...I did it. You wanna say something about it?
13. My fart DO stink....BAD. Sometimes, my dog leaves the room when I fart. Yes, a creature that would happily eat shit would rather not smell my farts!

I'm sure there are plenty others (and I'll try to update), but I'll keep it at that for now. The weird thing is, if I don't work with you, I'll happily tell you these things, or you'll find out from my friends. I don't care...whatever.