Argle Bargle

I recently started working with a guy, "T", who mumbles when he speaks. I can only pick up 20% of what he actually says...my brain filters out 60% of the mumbling, and uses some sort of fuzzy logic to piece together whats left over. And it's not so much "mumbling", as it's more "low-talking", combined with "fast talking", combined with a "wicked-pissah" Boston accent. I'm not kidding...he's probably the most incoherent person that I've ever spoken with. My question is: How does someone like this get hired?? Is there an affirmative action clause for the perpetually marble-mouth'd?? Did he slip through the cracks?

At first, I thought it was me...I thought "Maybe I've finally done it...the cumulation of a 30-year lifetime of utter debauchery has blown out my eardrums!!!!". Could it be that the "Ghost of Christmas' Past" had come back with a vengeance, and wrought havoc upon my cochleas?? No, this was not the case...I slyly confirmed with another co-worker that "T" is difficult to comprehend:

The Hag: Hey, um...did you catch what "T" just said?
Co-Worker: Only a little bit.
The Hag: I can't understand a friggin' word that guy says.
Co-Worker: Yeah, me neither. I try not to talk talk too much to him.
The Hag: What's his deal?!?! He's worse than Mayor Menino. Let's go grab a taco...

With taco consumed, I began to formulate an answer (Mexican food clears the mind): The theorized answer is somewhat complicated, involving office politics and human interaction, but let's start with an example of the types of conversations that I've personally had with "T":

"T": Argle Bargle Biffle Baffle Pissah Blaffle XYZ.
The Hag: Huh? Please repeat what you said.
"T" (rolls eyes, lowers voice): I said that the technology used in this client's case was XYZ.
The Hag: Oh, I see.

The answer is that "T" only mumbles to newer employees. He does this so he can PURPOSELY repeat himself in front of other workers and managers, in order to make it seem as though his "nugget of information" was SO advanced that he needed to slow down and explain it to his lowly peers. He's mumbling ON PURPOSE, thus causing him to repeat his statements!!! In doing so, he's trying to build himself up at the expense of others. This answer explains how he got through the interview process, made it past HR, and landed smack-dab in my workplace. Very calculating...very conniving. That's why, one of these days, I'll send a company wide email which will fully exploit his tactics. "T" must be stopped...clear diction and pronunciation will once again RULE THE OFFICE!!!

Or I'll just quit...whichever comes first.