So long, South Beach Diet!!!

I've been on the South Beach Diet for over a month now, and it's going very well. I haven't had a piece of bread (except for 2 hamburger rolls...which was an emergency...yeah, that's it) during that time. I'm trying to lose weight, eat healthy, blah blah blah, and now I read this. Being 15-25 pounds overweight can be healthy, doctors say?? I'm turning down cake and cookies, not eating carbs, wolfing down vegetables like they're going out of style, and now this? Where were you indecisive bastards 30 days ago when I started this thing??

They're off the list...

My wife, T, went over to a new neighbor' house yesterday for a "jewelry party". When she got back an hour or so later, the following conversation ensued:

Hagbag: How were the new neighbors? Were they cool? Can we hang out with them?
T: Uh..yeah...they were nice.
Hagbag: What? What happened? Whats'tha matter?
T: Let me put it this way...they said they rented "Wild Hogs" last night...and they thought it was HILARIOUS!
Hagbag: Say no more...they're off the list.

You just never know. Scary, scary stuff.

Coffee High

I'm not normally a coffee drinker, but for some reason, I decided to make a pot this morning. I just downed 2 large mugs of coffee, and I'm starting to understand why people drink this stuff. Needless to say, there's a little extra pep in my step this morning....yikes, I'm racing.

I'm a genius...

Ball's Wedding

Ball got married to Pow this weekend; and we all had a blast. Boomer (Best Man), Harding, Galt, Sidearm, BackToBack (brother-in-law), and I were all in the wedding. HTE & Bombs were present as well....talk about a serious crew...

It's very hard to describe this weekend, because there were SO many friends present that it's all very blurry (Boston and Chicago crews united at last!). The pre-rehearsal dinner (sidebar: leave it up to Ball to fit in another dinner, you beautiful bastard) was excellent!! Many of the folks present, including myself, ordered the kangaroo. I thought I heard the waiter say that the special was "baby pelican", but alas, I was wrong. So kangaroo was had by many....and it was excellent (I ordered "the pouch" medium-rare). The rehearsal dinner was excellent as well...lots of booze, food, friends, etc, etc (the wedding gifts were awesome...NFL jerseys....GO PATS)! The wedding was VERY classy, with every detail covered (excellent slide show, great food, EXCELLENT music, etc, etc). All in all, one of the best weddings & weekends that I can remember. Thanks Ball & Pow...congratulations!

2 sick kids + 1 hungry dog = 1 extremely busy morning

Kid#1 (whom I'll now refer to as MPandy, 3) was out of school the past few days with a serious ear infection (actually, because of the fever caused by the ear infection). Kid#2 (whom I'll now refer to as Lammy, 6 weeks) has had a cold, but is in good spirits. Normally, MPandy is easy to take care of, as she does everything on her own (favorite saying "I'll do it"). However, for the past few mornings, she's been very tired, sick, woozy, fevered, etc, etc...which in turn makes her extremely clingy & needy (I'm not blaming her...she's miserable). Lammy is in a great mood, but she's only 6 weeks old, so she obviously requires a lot of attention. Anyway, both kids were laying on our bed this morning, when MPandy suddenly rolled over onto her stomach, and horked face-down into our bed (did I mention that she's been taking this deep-pink medicine?). I didn't notice right away (she was silent) until I looked over at her: Air-raid sirens go off, CODE RED, DEFCON1, CLEANUP IN AISLE 8!!!!! Pink mess everywhere. Meanwhile, the dog is going nuts trying to jump on the bed to "see what's going on". I gently guided MPandy to the bathroom, kicked the dog out of room, tore the bedcloths off of the bed and headed to the washing machine. It was a scene, man...a real scene.

Everything is coming up Hagbag!

Hagbag 1, Harding 5346

Oh, and I won twice at darts (out of ~15 games). Yup, the glass is half full, baby. It may be full of month-old, skunked beer, but it's half full just the same. Whoooooooooo-Weeeeeeee!!!!

What did you say?

Hags: Do you have a washer and dryer in your condo?
Harding: Yeah. Below Me.
Hags: All I asked was whether you can do your laundry...you didn't have to be rude.

Try it out. Below me. Blow me. I love it!

This took me a minute...

Very clever....

How come nothing like this ever happens to me?

Can you guess what my favorite line from this article is?? Go on...guess:

• "slowly descended herself"...Nope.
• "see the Earth coming"...No ma'am!
• "ice in her lightweight flying suit and frost bite to her face"...that's not right.
• "an attack by two large eagles"...DING DING DING...WE HAVE A WINNER

Eagles?!?!? A coordinated eagle attack??? Dammit...I wish I could've seen that. GAAWWWWWWKKKK!!!!!!

Another new holiday??!? Stay with me...you'll like this one.

So, I've been heading into the city more often for work lately (yes, Da' Bag leaves the ole' home-based work-lair every now and then, OK? Double-hyphenation....sweet), and it's astonishing how clearly rude some people are (Wow...that was some grammar...hyphenation, parentheses, run-on sentence...amazing...I'm still doing it...I can't STOP....just kidding). I'm sitting on the train the other morning, and this overtly-loud galoot would not keep his voice down. I'm minding my own business, getting my ass whooped in Blackjack and this...I'm sorry, I'm going to use it again, because it fit him so perfectly...galoot, is practically shouting his conversation across the state. It would be one thing if the conversation was minutely interesting, but no; it's all "Yeah, so, I was once a chef, and MAN, those guys make good money, and now I'm going to see my sista' and then have lunch over in Southie with an old buddy who I usta' go to school with back in tha' day. Man dose' were the times, but I'll tell ya', if ever had the BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH". If I were half as rude as he was, I'd a'pimped smacked him onto the tracks...but NOooooooooo, the "Man" says that we can't do that, right? So what can we do? Put on our headphones, ignore these idiots, and continue on with life, I guess. But you know what? That will never solve this guy's problem. It IS his problem; after all, he's the one suffering from low-grade Voice Immodulation Syndrome. Should the circle of life continue ad infinitum without letting these people know that they are being rude?? I'm of the opinion that something needs to be done, so here's my solution: I'm officially declaring March 1st "You're Being a Jackass Day" (YBAJD). That's right...it's your yearly, guilt-free, tactless, "Get out of jail free card" for alerting citizens that they've overstepped the bounds of normal decency. If word gets out, I'm sure that we could easily overtake Christmas and Thanksgiving as the most popular holiday. I've done 32 Xmas'es, Thanksgivings, Easters, etc. at this point in my life; it's been done. How many times have I publicly humiliated a stranger when I've REALLY wanted to....ZERO. Well, it's time to look forward to something new. Watch out, Flag Day...I'm coming up on ya'. Oh, and by the way, the only person who receives gifts on YBAJD is it's creator....feel free.

BTW: For you holiday buffs, YBAJD coincides with Iceland's Beer Day. Reykjavik, anyone?

Workouts 06'

Ok, I'm embarrassed; I lifted weights 56 times in 2006....ONE more time than 2005. WTF? Ok, seriously, I mean it this time...I'll break the 100 barrier in 2007 AND I'll document all of my workouts (not just the lifting, but the running and boxing as well). Whole new leaf, baby...whole new leaf ;)