Not for the faint of heart...

I can't live with the lies anymore. I've built this happy little life for myself, but behind the blissful facade is a dirty little secret that I've hidden for the majority of my life, and it's time I come clean. Shame is a hard thing to live with, but broken pride is much, much worse. How can I keep a part of me secret, when after all, it's what makes me who I am? It's coming out day, and it's been a long time coming. What dark, personal mystery has caused such emotional anguish, you ask? My nub toe. Yes, that's right...my right big toe doesn't have a toenail*, and sadly, it never will. Today, I stand before you on the moutaintop, with my nub raised high, and I shout: I HAVE A REALLY FRIGGING UGLY TOE, AND I'M NOT GOING TO HIDE IT ANYMORE!!!!!

Gone are the sandal-less summers. Goodbye, steel-toes boots. Water mocassins in the locker room?...HA, NEVER AGAIN! No longer will I idly sit by as Foot Locker employees rain showers of mock down upon me. No, not I. From today forth, I am proud of my nub. My nub is my friend, my companion, my medal of honor. But fear not, faithful reader, I will only use nub's powers for good, never evil (aside from the occasional gross out joke, or scaring my children). My newfound confidence is solidified with the knowledge that I am not alone; there are legions of toe martyrs in the world longing for freedom. Join me, Brothers in Arms (or Toes)!! Together, we will conquer the prejudices that have long enslaved us!!





*I was going to explain how this happened to my toe, and it went a little sumthin' like dis...hit it!: "I am not alone in my suffering. Long ago, my grandfather was bitten by a radioactive spider, mutating his DNA, consequently bestowing upon him super-human abilities. But a much worse genetic after-effect had been wrought upon the male decendants...". Some of this is true...he was PROBABLY bitten by a spider some point in his life, and I do have other family members with the same affliction (I will not "out" them in this forum), but I used a little "poetic license" thereafter. The real reason is that I probably clipped my nail with a little too much "gusto", caused an infection, and had to have the nail surgically removed....probably...I'm not sure...but probably.