Let the Masturbation Jokes begin!!!

I forgot to mention that when I went skiing last weekend, I fell awkwardly on my wrist. I fell a total of 2 times in 2 days (HTE will say that I fell 4 times, but I discount the 2 where I wasn't actually skiing...I was just standing, and fell over) , which is a pretty good percentage as far as falling goes (~20-25 runs, 3 falls...not bad) However, on the 3rd time, I think I royally screwed up my wrist...which is a horrible percentage for wrist safety. I don't even remember the fall, but I noticed later that night that my left wrist was a little tender. It's been tender all week, but after doing some tri-pulldowns yesterday, I can't even use my left arm. I can't lift anything, open anything, close anything, twist anything; Needless to say, weights, doors, cans, and twist-off beers are my nemesis at this point. Looks like my "every 5 year doctor's visit" is coming a little earlier this decade.

My first Gillette Stadium Excursion - Treo Pics #4

This is my fourth "Treo Pics" installment. These pics are from my first trip to Gillette Stadium, for the exhibition game against the NY Giants in 05'. First Time???

You: First time to Gillette?
Your stupid friend: But Hags, aren't you a HUGE Pats fan?
The Hag: Yes....Yes, I am. But you see, a long time ago...when the Pats still played at Foxboro Stadium, I went to a 95' Pats vs. Jets game with HTE and Keith. The seating was horrible, and the view was worse. (Sidebar: As bad as the seats were, I did learn a few NFL secrets that day from a choice section of local sports fans, like "Ronnie Lott has a twat" and "Boomer takes it up the bummer"...who knew??) After the game, I declared that "I will NEVER go to another game until they build a new stadium where a man of my stature can fit comfortably". And a new stadium with said seating was constructed, and the ticket prices henceforth sky-rocketed to the moon. Consequently yes, my first time was this time, so back the F off.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and my neighbor called and asked me if I wanted to go to "the game"? He said that a friend couldn't go, and that he had a ticket for me, and asked if I wanted to go. "Uh..hold on...lemme think.....Yes, yes I do!!!!". So I put on my best Red Sox jersey, Sox hat, kissed T and M goodbye, and headed outside. My neighbor's waiting for me in his truck, he looks at me, and he goes "You know...we're going to the Pats, right?". It didn't even dawn on me that he was talking about the Pats when he said "the game"...I just assumed that he meant the Red Sox...that's how far out out my realm of vision that actually attending a Pats game had been. Anyway, I left the Sox jersey on (hey, they were still in it at this point), and I ran in to switch hats. With that done, we headed to the train station, where we picked up his nephews (13 year old twins).

Well, it was a really fun time. Many beers were drank, and that's where it gets a little "blue". A drunk guy behind me ALMOST purposely poured his beer on me (he was being a jerk all game long, and near the end of the game, he said "Watch this" to his friends, and I turned around and caught him right before he was about to do it). I don't think he realized that I was as big as I am, because when I stood up and told him I was going to break his face, he looked a little frightened. Anyway, it was the end of the game, and my neighbor said "Let's get going...". So we left, but not before I yelled down to the jerk that I'd meet him upstairs (I had no intention of fighting this loser in front of my neigher AND HIS YOUNG NEPHEWS, but I just wanted to make this guys last 15 minutes at Gillette a little "frantic"). As we left, I apologized to my neighbor, and explained to his nephews that my reaction was probably not the best way to handle the situation (lie...it was the BEST way, and the only way that I know of) and that fighting is wrong (technically, I didn't fight at all...I just threatened to fight the guy...and if he HAD poured beer on me, it wouldn't have been a fight...it would have been a mauling).

I digress. It was a fun time, except for the end, which I felt really bad about, even though I don't think it was my fault (if I didn't say anything, and he poured his beer on me, and I still didn't do anything...I'd be running this scenario in my head for years to come). Why do stupid a-holes always start with me? I really don't like fighting, and consider myself too intelligent and too old to resort to it...but it's in my nature to never back down. I guess that's something I'll need to work on, huh? Anyway, enjoy the pics!

The Hags' Workout

I've documented almost every home gym workout since the end of last year. I did a lot of other stuff that was never recorded, including basketball, running, dog walking, etc. However, because I don't carry a notebook everywhere I go, I focused on recording my workouts at home. Last year, Jan-Dec, I worked out 55 times. That works out to ~1 workout per week!!! That is absolutely pathetic, right??!? Looking back, it seems like I worked out SO much more than that, but I can't argue...it's right in front of my face. What's great about doing this is that I date each workout, and I can see where I fell off the table. Consequently, each dropoff and restart corresponds to something screwing up my schedule (good or bad)....trip to Vegas, trip to Chicago, starting a new job, quitting a new job, etc. I would HIGHLY recommend to everyone to document your workouts. It's pretty telling. You might THINK you're going to the gym a lot, but over the course of the year, it's pretty telling. I'm resolving as of right now to workout at least twice a week, upperbody and lowerbody...NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO MY CALENDAR!!! I can do that, right? No problem.

Here are my latest upper and lower workouts as of this week. I'm not trying to get big or anything (obvious from the weight used and the # of reps), I just want to stay in shape. I do full upper and lower body workouts on Tuesday and Thursdays (i.e. complete upper on Tues, complete lower on Thurs). I try to take only 1-2 minutes between sets. Comments?

Upper:
Flat Bench - 205x5, 185x9, 165x9, 155x8

Chest Flys - 70x12, 70x12

Shoulder Side Raises - 10x12, 10x12, 10x12

Shrugs - 155x12, 155x12, 135x14, 135x14

Pull Downs - 70x12, 70x12, 70x12

Rows - 70x12, 70x12

Tri-Cable pull downs - 40x12, 40x12, 40x12

Dips - 14, 14

Bi-Curls - 30x12, 30x12, 30x12

Lower:
Squats - 95x12, 95x12, 95x12, 95x12 (I'll try to do more weight here, but my knees are weak)

Lunges - 12, 12, 12, 12

Quad Raises - 45x12, 45x12, 45x12, 45x12

Hammy curls - 45x12, 55x12, 65x12, 75x12

Calf Raises - 135x12, 135x12, 135x12, 135x12

Situps - 12, 12, 12

As I look at this, I realize I should probably alter my weight more, as I'm sure my body is adjusting to these weights. Anyway...this is a good exercise to go through...I'm purposely being more critical of my workouts so I can improve, right?!

Guy wins fake lottery...

This poor guy. I would cry my eyes out, and then open up a can of serious whoopass if this happened to me.

Skiing again....and I love it.

I'm back after a brief holiday hiatus, which included a 3 day skiing forray in Vermont (Stratton, to be exact). I haven't skied in ~5 years, but I was happily surprised to discover that I haven't lost "da skilz". Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly an "expert"...I've skied the occasional triple diamond trail and a few "out of bounds" trails in Colorado, but this was done in a very "non-aggressive manner" (i.e. I pizza'd quite a bit of this trails, and left the french fries at home). However, when I hit the slopes this past week, I felt great...my turns were sharp, my legs didn't burn...it was a blast! It made me wonder why I haven't skiied in so long! Anyway, while I was up there, I had a few thoughts:

1. I love my non-elliptical, circa 94', straight skiis (Fischer Spectras...yes, old and crappy, but I love them) and my crappy KoFlach boots (yes, I've never heard of them before either). They are 195's, and it appears that NO ONE skiis anything larger than 170 these days due to the shaped-ski craze. My brother's rentals were at least 8-10 inches shorter. It's actually pretty cool, cause now I have no problem finding my skiis after lunch...just head for the longest pair on the rack. And my boots have NEVER hurt my feet...why change, right?
   
2. NEVER go skiing on a weekend which coincides with school winter vacation. Holy crowded zoo, Batman! I knew it was going to be like this because the main purpose was to get away for the New Years, but criminy, was it packed!!!
3. Snowboarding...ug, I feel old. Forgive the sub-list, but here are a few casual observations:
• Is it impossible to stop without falling down? And why do they feel the need to fall down in the middle of the trail and wait for their buddies? Everytime you go down a trail, there's a pack of boaders' waiting in the middle. I ALWAYS try to stop on the side.
• The youngsters really seem to love it. It seems that anyone between 13 and 25 years of age snowboard these days.
  
• Is facial hair a requirement for snowboarding over the age of 18? Every guy snowboarder has a soul patch or a goatee or doesn't shave at all. What's the deal?
• Yes, sweet trick...that was a great "rail grind"...now try doing it on skiis, Mr. "SlipKnot is the greatest band ever!".
  
4. Skiing is really f'in expensive, huh? The gear, the clothing, the tickets...yikes! No wonder so many people consider it an elitist sport.
   

Anyway, I had a blast, and I'm really looking forward to going again.

Back to the grind!

Had a great X-mas with the fam...ate a ton of good food. Nothing much else has happened in the past few days. Here's one of my favorite "WTF" sites. It's childish and crude, but if you watch it twice, I GUARANTEE that you'll be singing "The Dragon does..." for hours.

Ode' to Barry Sobel...

Here's a little cover that I wrote, which "Andy's Red Rocket" might someday work into their playlist. It's played to the tune of "Hotel California"...chords go along like Bm F# A E, G D Em F#...or something like that. Why this subject...why not?

Hotel Coral Essex

On a bright sunny freeway,
near the Florida shore,
warm sand on the beaches,
Spring Break's in full bore.

Well, we looked in the phone book,
for a nice place to stay.
Gilbert called, and there were rooms to spare,
so Louis showed us the way.

Mirrors on the ceiling,
Fake rocks on the floor.
He screwed* Betty in the Moon Room,
till' she begged for more.

Poindexter on electric,
Booger Presley on Guitar.
Admiral Wormser rockin' on the mic',
with his gay friend Lamar.

Last thing I remember, as they left us on the beach,
student council's gonna vote us out, and Gilbert they'll impeach.
But orge's gonna help us, and Stan will rue the day.
We'll drive our tank into the swimming pool,
and they'll hear us say-hay:

Livin' it up at the Hotel Corral Essex,
what a wretched hole,
it'll stain your soul.

Livin' it up at the Hotel Corral Essex,
what a damn surpise,
Nerds in Paradise....

*Note: Technically, this is from Revenge, not Paradise, AND what Louis did to Betty was technically rape...so you can change "screwed" to "raped" for the "Dope Blue Remix".

Take your IPod and stick it!!

Ipod made Google's 2005 Zeitgeist list for Top Froogle search term. You know what? Take your frigging Ipod with it's terabyte of data, and shove it up your ass. I am SO sick and tired of hearing about Ipod this and Ipod that and Ipod cradle and Ipod Shuffle and Ipod skins and ITunes and Ipod Nano and "Help, I lost my Ipod on the Redline!". Yes, it's a great product, and yes, it's got a great simple/stupid interface, and yes, it has plenty of storage, and yes, it comes in a myriad of colors to satisfy our occular senses....but for Christ's sake, I'm sick of it. Advertising up the goddamned ying-yang in every medium....please, just stop. We get it...we really do. Everyone complains about gas prices, yet no one seems to make a peep about a $300 walkman...am I going insane here?!!??

This is my dog.

This is my dog, Andy. He's a big, friendly bastard who loves everyone...and it's obvious. He's been neutered, but his junk won't quit. Go git' em, boy!

Sidenote: He usually doesn't wear that "kerchief" around his neck (I wouldn't degrade him like that). My wife wanted to send this picture (or a similiar facsimile) out as a Christmas card one year, and she didn't see it. I saw it, and I still wanted to send it out as a card.

It's baseball season again...Wait...Is It? Treo Pics #3

What with all the recent Boston baseball hub-bub, I thought I'd revert back to some baseball related picture from the Ole' Treo 600:


This is a "He doesn't know that I'm taking a picture of him" picture of Chappy at Camden Yards this past summer. We got tickets from G-Dubya (or G-Dub, if you will) to sit in the OWNER'S BOX. Yes, it was as boss as boss can get. I'm not exactly sure what Chappy was thinking at this point in time, but I can tell you what I was thinking..."This is going to be a pretty funny picture of Chappy". It looks like he's trying to blow an invisible trumphet. Shout out to Chappy!


This is Bomber. Bomber drunk. Night-Night, Bomber. Night-Night.


What' up, G-Dub? Peace in da Middle East, Y'all!

Ah yes, Camden yards from the owner's box; it was both a beautiful and tragic day all wrapped into one. It was beautiful because the tickets and accoutrements (beer, food, dessert, etc) were FREE (I ate my weight in burgers that day, my friend)! It was tragic because 1)we had to watch Rafael Palmeiro walk all over the Red Sox, while we all knew that he was a juicer and 2)this experience spoiled us, thus sullying any future baseball excursions.

The warehouse. You know, up close, it looks like, well, a warehouse.


And this little gem, ladies and gentlemen, is Shea Stadium Bask in all it's vastness. I went on a work trip to NYC this past summer (sometime before we went to Camden), met up with G-Dub later that afternoon, and we went to a Mets/Cinn game. I was made *gasp* an honorary Mets fan that day because I cheered along with the locals. It was a fun night. Did you know that you can carry open containers on the train to and from the game? Excellent!

I'd try it...

Would you try a kangaroo steak? I would...I bet it tastes similiar to deer (which I like). I have friends who are fevently against veal and duck-liver (foie gras, for you uppity types) mainly because of the way these animals are treated prior to slaughter. Yet, they eat steak and chicken on a weekly basis, which seems a little hypocritical to me. I like veal, but I certainly don't need it, but it's not going to go away, so I'll occasionally order it, and it's really, really good. Now foie gras, that's an issue I can take a stand on, because it tastes like shit. Anyway, Australia NEEDS to cull the herd, so I think this is a great idea. While they're at it, I say throw in a few kuala steaks as well...I bet they're REALLY tender.

Bathroom Humor

It occurred to me the other day as I was walking out of the bathroom at the Fours that there have been some serious upgrades to the standard public restroom in the last five years...and yet I am still not convinced that these changes have made it any less probable that I'll catch something communicable in these places. They have the auto-flush toilet, the auto-soap dispenser, the auto-sink...some places even have the auto-toilet paperthingy coverer (O'Hare has these...they're very impressive). What I don't understand is that whilst many places utilize these new conveniences, 99% of these locales still utilize a "pull" door in order to leave the restroom. So you can go through the whole "bathroom experience" whilst not actually touching anything, but then they still expect you to put your hand on the door on the way out! I ALWAYS wash my hands, but there are plenty of men who do not. I've seen co-workers come out of the stall and walk right out the door, with nary a thought of washing their hands (this is when I worked in an office, mind you). And to worsen the matter, some public restrooms still have actual door knobs on their doors...so that you really work the grime and bacteria of the non-washers directly into your freshly washed hands (Friday the 13th was scary when I was 10....The WeatherLane's bathroom door knobs are what keep me awake at night at 31). Please, for my sake, change all bathroom doors so that they are push instead of pull (or sliding, like in Star Trek)....or at least remove the door knobs and make the door a swinger. I've been reduced to using my shirt (or a paper towel) to leave most restrooms, and I look like such a wuss.

On that note: Has anyone ever gone to use one of those auto-sinks, and felt as foolish as I have when it doesn't turn on, and then you have to resort to doing the "sink dance"?? You sit there for a few seconds, waving your hands like a moron, and yet the sink doesn't turn on. And then you have to switch to another sink, and it does the same thing?? Meanwhile, people are coming and going, not having a problem, and you suddenly look like the "bathroom leper". Yes, that's always me.

Florida Trip

I got back from Florida late last night, and I had so many thoughts running through my mind (which I shared with T, my wife, after downing about 2000 calories in 5 minutes):

• I'm SO sick of U-Ass Airways. They have so many delayed/cancelled flights due to maintenance, it's a wonder they don't go bankrupt (oh, wait...they did). We were stuck on the tarmack for ~1.5 hours because they didn't have gas in their "engine starter machine". Not to mention that I usually end up getting a cold when I fly with them, AND their planes usually smell like fecal matter.
• Some people are just so stupid. I HATE when people carry those huge wheeled luggage pieces onto a plane. I was stuck behind no less than 8 people who jammed up the exiting process because they couldn't get their "spruce goose tourister" down from the overhead bin. The only funny thing about this was that SO many people had these, that there was no overhead space left before even 1/2 the plane had boarded. The comedy factor was that I had a cloth computer, so I had the pleasure of sneering at the losers who had to check their baggage on the jetway.
• Some people are just too slow. Frail/especially older people should wait until everyone else has exited the plane before they even attempt to unbuckle their seatbelt. Nothing annoys me more than waiting for a 90 year old woman to put her sweater on, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE, whilst 50 other people wait behind her to exit the plane. THEN she has to go back, get her Reader's Digest, which she'll inevitably drop, pick up, drop again....you get the picture.
• Some people are just plain vile. If you're on a packed flight, and you have the gaul to lift a cheek and float the most fowl smelling fumes past other passengers, you don't deserve to fly. I was this close (pinching my fingers very close together...VERY CLOSE) to saying to passengers in front and beside me "Who did it?? Was it you, you swine???!?!?". It was not a pleasant flight home.\
• Some people are just plain inconsiderate. There was a woman who was taking very loudly on her cell phone, and it was only 6:30 in the morning. Put away your friggin' squawk box...I don't care about your "big deal coming down the pipeline" or whether or not "consulting will be able to handle the hours"...just shut the hell up! Oh, and while I was waiting in line at security, an older gentleman pushed passed me to get into one of the other lines. I loudly said "Where are you going?", to which he replied "I'm getting in line", to which I replied "Yeah, well, if you didn't notice, we're all in line".......he didn't listen, and proceeded to jump into the next queue (at least I said something).

To sum up: Airlines = unsanitary, People = annoying. When are they going to mass-market the personal jetpack?!?

"America's Wang"

I'm travelling to Florida tomorrow to visit a client. It's a 1 day trip; I'm flying into Ft. Lauderdale in the morning, and then flying back to Boston in the afternoon. Homer Simpson once called Florida "America's Wang". What with the daily hurricanes, the crime, and the large percentage of Q-Tips (i.e. old people), I can't help but agree. At least this trip should provide some fodder for Thursday's post.

BTW: I know that A LOT of people like to bitch and moan about Microsoft's iron-clad grip on the operating system market, but you know what? They deserve it...it's the easiest OS to install, hands down. I spent quite awhile installing Fedora Core 3 on an old machine last year, and it took me almost a week to install all the correct drivers (and I'm being generous). I installed XP on another old machine today in 1.5 hours (including upgrades). They might be aggressive towards their competitors, and they may screw up the security thing (which they'll be forced to rectify), but they sure as Hell beat the crap out of Linux on the "ease-of-use" side of things. Don't get me wrong, Linux is great (I still use the Fedora box daily for browsing, web dev testing, etc), but it's definately NOT for the average user.

Not much doin'.

Didn't do much this weekend. In fact, I haven't done much, aside from work, in the past week. I'm wondering if working from home is stunting my social skills?!? Ah well...I can still wear sweatpants everyday.

Cream

I caught a large portion of Cream's Reunion on PBS the other night. It was good...although, at times, I did get the feeling that they were "mailing it in". I really can't complain, though...Cream's "mailing it in" is better than 99.9% of any other bands out there. It's fascinating to watch the onstage interplay between Clapton, Bruce, and Baker (they're all astounding musicians). They could've showed more close ups of Claptons hands as he played...pretty cool stuff...I can watch a great guitarist for hours.

Alcohol Inhalers??!? Where have I been?

Do I really need to imbide alcohol any quicker than I ordinarily do? Apparently so. I would've love to have been around when this idea was conceived. "Funnels, keg stands, shotguns...No, not fast enough. I want to BREATE pure Vodka!!!" Here's how I see it: If you feel the need to literally inhale your tequila, you're probably going to get wasted one way or another, regardless of what the government tries to ban. If the tried and true methods of social drinking (i.e. imbibing a few beers, a few shots of vodka, two or three mudslides, topped with a Jack shooter, followed by an embarassing night for you and your friends) do not meet your needs, then I think it's time you raise the white flag, march your ass into AA, and declare yourself what we all knew you to be in the first place....AN ALCOHOLIC!!! Talk to me when you get to step 9...because you ruined my fine knit cashmere sweater back in 01'.

Of course, there are always other ways to party.

Stand-up Bit...

HTE called me the other day to bounce a new joke idea off me. Awhile back, HTE and I started writing stand-up comedy routines, but neither of us have taken the next step and "gone live". Mine's VERY hacky (did you ever notice?...who are these people?), and needs a lot of work, but I'm going to paste it here anyway:

Have you ever noticed that companies these days try to fit in every single racial/minority category into their advertising? Macdonalds is the worst. Their placemats look like they were designed by the United Nations: They've got a black customer walking into the store, a Hispanic girl at the register, a 95 year old man washing the floors, an Asian woman cleaning the windows, a mentally retarded kid spraying the lettuce, and a deaf/mute American Indian working the drive thru. I mean C'mon, do I really need to know how to sign Navajo just to order a Big Mac these days?? I've got an idea, why don't they figure out how to make my fries taste like they weren't boiled in ass, THEN we'll work on the whole "World Peace Thing", OK?

Did you hear that Macdonald recently shut down all of it restaurants in Bolivia? I didn't even realize that Bolivia had the infrastructure to support a chain of McDonalds? Quite frankly, I didn't even know they had paved roads in Bolivia, because I've never been there. Maybe they don't?!? Maybe people were swinging from vine to vine just to get there. Of course, that's probably why MacDonalds decided to leave...have you ever seen a greasy fatso try to swing from a vine?

Have you ever had one of those really awkward situations where you run into an old girlfriend or boyfriend, and you try to impress them with how wonderful your life is since their gone? "So...how have you been?" "I've been super...I'm dating a lawyer" "Things are going great....Sally is a model". Have you ever wondered what that must've been like for Ghandi's ex-girlfriends? (Indian Accent) "So Asha, how are things going for you?" "Oh...things are great....I'm dating...(awkward pause) Jesus."

All men think about is sex. All we think about are the many permutations of how we can siutate ourselves where we MIGHT POSSIBLY POTENTIALLY be able to have sex. It's in our systems, and we can't control it...it's ingrained. For instance, the other day I was walking down the street, and I saw the hottest blonde I've ever seen coming the other way. When she passed, I thought to myself 'Man, I bet those legs go all the way up!"......WHERE DID THAT COME FROM??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Wouldn't it be horrifying if her legs DIDN't go all the way up!! You take her home, you have a few drinks, things get hot and heavy, she takes off her dress, and she has 2 real feet and a pair of fake legs! "My legs don't go all the way up".

I tried to spice things up in the bedroom the other night, so I told my wife I wanted to try doggie-style. She said "Sure", whacked me in the face with a rolled up newspaper, and made me sleep outside.

I couldn't afford a laptop, so I invented the crotch-bottom. I can now read my email from anywhere in the world, but I refuse respond because I don't want to touch the keyboard.

I installed a dog whistle on my vacuum cleaner. My floors are clean, but my lawn is destroyed.

Treo pics #2: Vegas + Football Beer = 1 drunk Hag

Ok, so here are a few more old Treo pictures. These are of my first trip to Vegas (2/03)....the lights, the money, the over-the-top glitz that IS Vegas. The guys went out for the night, whilst my wife and my sister-in-law went out on their own, and so we decided to visit Ole' Vegas. What could be better than playing $2 craps next to crackheads at the Golden Nugget (not kidding)?? Ball, Harding, Hags the Elder (HTE...my brother), and The Hag (me). There may have been more people there (Fischer, Mallow, perhaps), but everything gets a little hazy once my foot leaves the cab and hits the curb (uh oh...).

So we went to one of the old casinos (I think it was the Golden Nugget) and played $2 craps for what seemed like an eternity. HTE craps out first, than Harding...Ball and I were in it for the long run. By that, I mean that we weren't losing EVERYTHING, and we ended up drinking like fish for free for quite awhile. By the time we left, I think both Ball and I had actually won ~$60.

Now we get to the point in the story where The Hag makes a crucial error in judgement. I saw a random guy walking down the strip with a GIGANTIC plastic football filled with what appeared to be some type of alcolholic beverage (testing later concluded that it was beer). Said gentlemen directed Ball and I to the "bohemoth football-sized libation" vendor. And there, at the door of the casino, was the sign that read something along the lines of "$1.99 48 ouncers". Here's where logic goes out the window: Why in the world would I PAY for something that I can easily get for free (AND pay for something that will go fetidly warm within minutes)??!?!??! It was that damn football, I tell's ya'! It was calling me...mocking me...questioning my manhood. So, with a gleam in my eye, I ordered my football...my golden whale (A'vast, ye mateys...beer ho!).

After 1 minute, it became clear to Ball and I that this was an unwise purchase due to the fact that 1) as I mentioned, these suckers got warm fast, and 2) the only way to drink out of the football was via a straw. 10 minutes later, footballs were completely consumed. 20 minutes later, I was completely schnookered (I was a stumbling mess). We met up with TStach and her sister at Harrah's, and that's about all I remember for that day...EXCEPT:

-Playing catch with the football
-I remember a woman selling shirts with pictures of cats on them, and I believe it was either Harding or HTE who said something like "Nice pussy" or something along those lines. Laughter ensued.
-I remember HTE making the comment re: "The Ayatollah of Gorgonzolah"
-Harding shouting at HTE "Dance, Monkey, Dance!!"
-I remember returning to the rooms later that night and kicking a room service tray (and all of it's contents) down the hallway. Ug..why did I rehash this nightmare?

Treo Pics #1

I just got a new Blackberry 7105t a few weeks ago, so I'm in the process of transitioning over from my Treo 600 (which, BTW, rocks as an organizer but SUCKS as a phone...maybe the 650 is better...whatever). In any case, I downloaded all the pictures off of my phone, and I'm posting them here piecemail.

These first 2 pics are very special: my first (and last) visit to Yankee Stadium in 2004. My sister-in-law got tickets to the Red Sox (Go baby!!) vs. the Yankees (BOOO!!) at Yankee Stadium through someone she works with. We all drove down together, and stopped in at Stan's shithole bar for a few libations prior to the game. Most of the patrons were Yankee fans (duh), but there was also a respectable Sox contingent present as well.

Most of the fans at the game were respectful, as were we, but there were a few annoying bastards around us who would not leave us alone (Ey, Joey...You sees dees guys down dere clappin' for da Sox? Ey, oh...my hair...don't mess with ma' hair!). 8th inning, in comes Mariano Rivera...and here comes the fans: "Dandman...Dandman coming...day Goodnight...Here gums the Dandman...Mr. Dandman, bring us a ring". Rivera, who I truly respect, ended up giving away 2 runs, and the Sox won the game. What was great about this was 1) the silence in the park after the loss and 2) the looks on the Yankee fan's faces...priceless. Yes, I've had the same look, but most people are used to that look on a Red Sox fan's face...but a Yankee fan?...oh, man. As we all know, the faces of Yankees fans across the world looked that same way in October 04', when the Sox finally won the Series again.

Long story short: The first picture is, obviously, of Yankee Stadium. The second picture is one of my brother symbolically giving the finger to all the Yankees fans at Stan's (especially the guy right behind him).